Way too long...

Ok, so it has been way too long for me... I can't believe I've stopped blogging. It has almost been two months! I have had so much going on that I didn't blog... no excuse, I know,but it's the only one I've got! So, since my great- grandmother's birthday, we've had Thanksgiving, and soon we will have Christmas.

Now keeping with tradition (well my tradition anyway), Christmas can't officially get here until after my birthday passes, which will be this Saturday! I won't disclose how old I am, for sadly, I'm in denial! I've always loved birthdays, even if that means I was born during a sucky time of year. This year is so different, I just dread turning a year older. I know that I'm still quite young, but the number itself just seems so old. Ok, I'm starting to get depressed... moving on!

On a brighter note, I will be heading home on Friday (19th) and I won't be back in Springfield until the 28th! Now that is something I'm very excited about!

Ok, so Karnell and I haven't taken many pictures together because he typically isn't around me a lot...( he works a lot). So, here in the past week, I've taken a few. The one's of us sitting together were taken on our date night to Old Chicago... man, if you haven't been there, you should make a serious effort to try and go, their Sicilian Pepperoni Rolls are to DIE for! The other pictures are of Karnell trying to clean his windshield, without much success... Stay tuned for birthday and Christmas pics!

105... and still counting!

This is my great grandmother... her name is Rodell Walker and she just turned 105!

My great grandmother is a huge inspiration to my family and I thought how appropriate to blog about her. If you ever get the chance to meet her, you will leave a completely changed person. I don't see how anyone that is as old as her can't have any wisdom. It is like she know's the "key" to life or something!

My grandmother has pretty much seen it all! She walks 3 miles a day and has seen all 50 states... 3 times! I haven't seen all 50 states once yet! She doesn't eat anything that we eat... she calls it "death on a plate". I am starting to believe her!

I know that this will probably sound very weird, but when she doesn't pass away, it will be a huge shock to us. We really aren't expecting her to pass away anytime soon. The last time she went to the hospital she was in her early 80's... for gall stones. She truly is the healthiest person I know.

She says that the key to life is to love the Lord, do what's right, and don't worry about anything else. I'm starting to really believe her! She also says to have a glass of wine... it relaxes you!! I love my great grandmother very much. She amazes me and makes me strive to be a better person.

She is in 100% great health. She takes no medicine, and remembers everyone... she even remembers my husband Karnell who she's seen only once... at my wedding (she was 102)! If 105 looks like my grandmother... than bring it on, because I want to live just like her! I love you grandma!

Karnell's Drumming

So for those of you that may not know a lot about me, my husband, Karnell is an amazing drummer. He has been playing for 29 years!!! He's been playing longer than I've been alive! Well, since he is such an amazing drummer he decided to try competitive drumming. Every year there is a HUGE drum off held at Guitar Centers all around the US. It's the biggest drum competition in the world!

Karnell has been in the competition 3 times now. He first played in KC... he didn't even place. Then last year he competed here in Springfield and WON!!! He won the store finals, got some really cool prizes and off to Districts he went...or should I say we went (to Denver, CO). Well that's as far as he got, he didn't win Districts.

Well, this year he decided to compete again. We were very hopeful that he would make it to Districts again this year, and even on to Regionals. Karnell had been practicing for months on this really awesome and totally unique routine. I would sit there and time him... because he only had 3 minutes, and I would also critique him. You know, let him know how it truly sounded, and what he should do to make it better.

So the rules are you have to make it past store prelims, and then compete again in the store finals. Well, Karnell was off to a great start because he won the store prelims. That meant that he would have to come back on October 14 and compete again. This time it would be with all the winners and runner ups from all 3 weeks (6 people total). Well, when October 14 came, he was at a slight advantage because one of the drummers injured themselves and couldn't compete. So, next thing I knew they were drawing numbers to see which order they would play. Karnell was #4. He hates going towards the end, because he hears how everyone else is playing... and it puts him on edge.

Well, needless to say, Karnell didn't win this year. We were both shocked! We were not planning on him losing! I still think that Karnell did an amazing job! So you tell me what you think... Have a great day!

MY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

Well I would like to announce that today, October 1, is my wedding anniversary! Karnell and I have been married for 3 years today! I must say that this 3rd year around, came by rather slowly. Not saying that is a bad thing, it just seems like this particular year went by slow. In this fast paced world, nothing goes slowly, so it's a shock!

Karnell and I have seen a lot together in our 3 years of marriage. More than I would have seen all by myself. Not only have we seen a lot, we have gone through a lot. We've had to be there for each other more that I thought we would have to be.

Also in our 3 years of marriage, we have lost several friends and family. The more I think about it, the sadder I get. When you actually take the time to reflect, you realize that time really has flown by, and moves on.

I love Karnell very much. He is by far my very best friend. Karnell and I just yesterday was reflecting on our anniversaries in the past. Neither one of us can remember what we did last year for our anniversary! Which we find to be very hilarious... sad, but hilarious!

I don't regret the decision that I made to marry Karnell. He is definitely my "one in a million"! I love you babe. Happy Anniversary!

Friends...

This post is a contribution to a very dear and close friend of mine. Her name is Sarah. I went to school with Sarah way back in 3rd grade. Ever since then, we have been really good friends. We have been through a lot and have seen a lot together.

The reason that I am blogging about her is because I want to let everyone know that staying connected as friends is a two way street. Everyone has that "friend" that doesn't ever call them, or email... for all you know, they might not even live in the same city anymore. I would just like to say that Sarah and I have remained good friends for over 20 years!

Now with that being said, I just would like to add a side note. Sarah and I don't talk to each other every single day, and for that matter, we don't talk to each other every week. We are both very busy... she is a wife and has four children and lives in Blue Springs ( KC area), I am also a wife, and I have a very demanding full time job. I live in Springfield, MO.

Even though Sarah and I may not talk to each other for awhile, I know that at any moment, I can call her up, and she will make time to listen. The same applies to me. We also find ways of communicating other than phones... myspace, facebook, emails, blogs, etc. It is in moments like these that I can tell that we are meant to be friends. Nothing gets in our way of staying friends, and when we do talk to each other it's nothing but a good time.

Sarah, I would just like to say thank you for being there for me for over 20 years. You are such an amazing person and a great inspiration to me. Nobody makes me want to have children and be a great wife more than you do. I know that if you can do it, so can I... some day with the kid part at least! Even though we don't talk every single day, I feel very connected to you and your family. My prayer is that we have 20 more years of a truly great friendship. You aren't just a friend to me, you are like a sister. I want you to know that if you need anything, I want you to let me know. I love you and my prayer is that the Lord truly blesses you and your family for being such a dear, sweet friend to me. I love you, Sarah!

My new toy!

Ok, so if you know me at all, you would probably confirm that I am nothing but one big kid! I have my whole life to be "grown up". Well, let me rephrase that... I'm "grown up" when I have to be... Anyway, since I am a 6th Grade Abstinence Education Coordinator, I feel it very important to be able to reach and relate to them. I love entertainment systems... I've had one since the dawn of time. I fell in love with my Game Boy advance, then I upgraded to the Nintendo DS (which I had for over a year). I thought I would never sell it, oh, but I did... Guess what I got in its place... that's right, a PSP!!!! I absolutely love it! I can use it to store pictures, music, video's and games. It can go online, be used as a phone, transfer games from a PS3 to my PSP... it is WAY better than an ipod. I should know, I own one. I would go as far to say it's better than the itouch! Reason being, you can download apple software to my PSP and have the same functionality of an itouch on my PSP... for a fraction of the cost! You should totally get you one! If you do, get the bundle pack: it comes with the PSP, 1gig memory card, charger, battery, a game, and a video all for about 250 bucks brand new! I'm telling you, you won't regret it! So, everyone go get a PSP... you will love it, even if you don't play games, if you have an ipod or a mp3 player of some sort, you will love this! Now that's news you can use!

Brian's Birthday...

So this past weekend I went to KC for Brian's birthday... He's 23. While I was there, I went to Worlds of Fun with my cousin Monty. I had a blast. So first I will show you pictures of Brian's birthday...we went to Houston's on the Plaza on Sunday. On that Saturday we went to Worlds of fun... Enjoy!


My mom, me and Brian


Brian standing beside his dream car


My cousin Corey...Taye's youngest son


Brian, Kenny and Kenny's brother


My mom, cousin Monty, and my cousin Taye


Everyone after eating...



So here are the pictures that we took of us at Worlds of Fun. Just a little side note, it was very hot that day. We also got to ride everything at least twice, and the Patriot and Spinning Dragons we got to ride 3 times! The Patriot and Spinning Dragons, are two new rides!


Monty and I waiting in line for Spinning Dragons!


We just got finished riding the Mamba


That looks really cool at night


Me and Monty actually on the Octopus!


Monty and I standing in line for Spinning Dragons...for a second time...don't forget, we rode this ride 3 times!

Rock that hair...

Ok, just as I promised, I will now unveil my new hair style! But before I do, I have to do a little explaining. When I first came to Springfield for college, I lived in the dorms. Well it only took a couple of weeks before I noticed that Springfield had hard water. It only took a few weeks after that before it started to break off. I had hair past my shoulders. I knew that if I was going to have any hair, I was going to have to get it cut off and pretty much start over. So over Christmas break I went home and got it all cut off. Once Christmas break was over I was trying to get into my dorm room and I heard my floormates ask me, "Is there something I can help you with, LaTisha isn't in her room"? Turned to them and said, "hello, I am LaTisha"! They didn't even recognize me! I loved having really short hair. One mistake I made, I cut it in the dead of winter, your head really feels the difference of having no hair!

So now I've been back in Springfield for over a year now, and I am back to the same conclusion... I have to cut my hair because it was breaking off (badly). So, I started looking at short haircuts, and found a really cute one. I also wised up a little bit, I cut it during the summer, so that my head doesn't have to adjust to the cold, and by winter, I will have learned how to style it.

I love short hair, it takes me literally 2 minutes to do my hair. I wash it while taking a shower, put a little bit of conditioner in it and go. I curls up all on its own! Ok, well I will show you a before and after picture... enjoy!


I know, you're saying it was already short...


Not a very good picture, but it's ear length (bottom of the ear)


So...what do you think?

Love

Is there truly such a thing as falling out of love? I mean seriously. I hear that phrase all the time..."oh, we just fell out of love". What does that mean? I know that people say that they fell in love, but to be honest I don't know what that means either. Is falling in love the realization that you care for a person more than words can describe? If so, then why don't people just say that.

In marriage, does it only take love? Is there more to it than that? Some would say yes, others would say no. For that matter, is love worth fighting for, or your spouse...whom you love? Love can get sticky in rough times; especially if it's not consistant.

Lets take "God is love", for example. Mathmatically you are saying God=love, just like 2+2=4. You aren't saying that if I add 2 and 2 I might get 4, it IS 4, every single time, you can switch the number around, and 4 will ALWAYS be the result. So if you relate that to God, no matter how you move Him, He will always equal love. So then I can't help but ask the question...what is the true definition of love.

Encarta dictionary defines love first as a verb: feeling tender affection for somebody; then as a noun: passionate attraction and desire. In both of these definitons, love sounds like a choice. You pick and choose who you will love. So if you can pick and choose who you will love, then that must mean that you can pick and choose who you won't love. The only kicker is that if we claim that we are Christians, then we are like Christ. Christ is apart of the trinity, and therefore He is love as well.

So the question still remains, can you fall out of love... The reason the question is still a question? Because God gave us free will, and with that came the freedom of choice. So, for all those reading, what do you think. Can you fall out of love, and if so, how?

Over a month!!!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've blogged... I'm letting down all my readers! I'm sure that you know that if it's been over a month... I'm kinda busy! No excuse, I know, but that's just the truth. If it makes it any better, I read blogs all the time; I would even go as far as saying every other day, but I just didn't have the time to write one. Well, here you are. So to recap, I went to KC for Father's Day, went to St. Louis for a family reunion (not mine, Karnell's)and then went back to KC for the Fourth of July. That makes 3 weekends in a row that I had something going on.

I also did something drastic... I cut all my hair off. I mean there is only about 1 inch of hair left. I haven't taken any pictures since then, so you will have to wait on that part, but here are pictures of other wonderful items...enjoy!


My cousin Monty's first time grilling!


My mom and my aunt Brenda


My brother Brian


My cousins Tyalor, Craig and Corey...pretending to swim!


While we were at the family reunion in St. Louis, we went downtown. Down by the arch we heard there was some flooding... so this is what we saw!

That sign says 12ft. 2in. (there is about a foot in between)


A street sign that is almost under water!


Flooding at the arch...look at the flag poles!


Karnell showing off his cooking skills at the family reunion


Karnell with his stepmom and sisters

Marriages...

So I have been on this soapbox for a while... you know... marriages. This past weekend Karnell and I went to a marriage training seminar. Before too many thoughts start running through your head, it was for work. I recently got "promoted" at work to where I teach relationship and marital classes for new or expectant parents that come through the Center. Well, one correct... I don't just teach them, Karnell, my husband teaches them with me.

So I heard of some very interesting, and sometimes disturbing information in regards to marriage. So I thought how appropriate to share what I learned with you... my ciber audience! I am more than likely going to have a small series of blogs, so, I hope that I get good feedback! I want you all to be a part!

I will share statistics, and other interesting facts! I'm going to start chronologically... meaning... single, dating, engaged, married, divored, and we will even touch on remarriage. Now, for the record, this is just what I've learned and have been trained in by Forest Institute here in Springfield. Most things I've experienced in some shape, form or fashion. One thing that I don't know from experience is remarriage... I've only been married to Karnell. Ok, let the ride begin!

The statistics: In 1930 84% of couples were married, in 1990 it was 56%, in 2005 it was 49.7%. The probability for divorce in blacks 70%, whites 47%, high school drop outs 60%, college graduate 36%, under 21 years of age 60%, over 21 years of age 40% In an Oklahoma Statewide survey...the reasons divorce happened: lack of commitment 84.9%, too much arguing 59.2%, infidelity 57.5%, married too young 42.9%, little to no marriage prep 41.4%, economic hardship 38.9%, domestic violence 30.1%, religious differences 20.6%.

So there you have it folks... these are just the statistics. This is good stuff, so you don't want to miss out! Have a great day!

Arguments...

What is the point of arguing? What does it prove? Is there a point that is "suppose" to be made? One thing that I have discovered is that I hate...utterly hate arguing. The thing that I hate to admit is that if you are married, arguing is the inevitable. Nobody told me that was apart of the "package" of getting married.

It is amazing what you will find yourself arguing over...typically it's something that doesn't have substantial value. Meaning one or two weeks from the argument, it will become irrelevant. The main reason an argument happens is because and expectation didn't happen. Whether it was communication, misinformed, hurt feelings, disrespect...the list could go on and on.

I do believe that there is a such thing as a healthy argument. Meaning something positive was accomplished...some type of ground was covered. And by the way, the whole saying to "agree to disagree" is a bunch of bull in marriage. Someone always wants to "win". They want to make sure that their point of view was seen, heard and understood. Not only that, but they want to know that you are going to change. It is almost like it's a demand.

So, if you can't avoid an argument, and they are apart of marriage...is there a way to argue in marriage?

When I argue...I get beyond upset, and it takes me a very long time to "cool" down. Maybe not the best way to handle an argument...but nevertheless, that's how I am. If I should be different, or whatever, please let me know. When I say a long time, it can take a couple of days...

So, for all those reading... what are your thoughts about arguments?

Food, Fun, Friends, and Babies!

So this past weekend I helped to host a baby shower! It was such a blast. Being around friends, is always a fun time. Especially when you have the group of friends that I do! When you have good friends, you better hold on to them tight!

I made a diaper cake for the first time...I think it turned out rather nicely! Overall the baby shower was a huge success! So, here are some pics of the very beautiful day! Enjoy!

Things are looking up!

If you know me at all, you know that I have this "man" figure in my life...called a husband. The reason I say "man" figure is because for our whole marriage, we really haven't had time to really enjoy being married, because he always worked.

When I first met Karnell, he worked at Cheddar's in Springfield, he had a constistant schedule--but still very rough hours. The consistency really helped us, or I think it would be safe to say that we probably wouldn't be together...

Once we moved to KC, he got his first management position at McDonalds. That was a shocker because his schedule was not consistant and he worked every possible hour that was available in a day. Not so bad because we were engaged; I was living with my mom, working and planning a wedding, so I didn't have a lot of free time to begin with.

A few months before we got married, he moved to Jack Stack BBQ where he was the back of the house manager. Better pay...horrible hours! The better pay cushioned the blow of not seeing him. He only got Thanksgiving and Christmas off, anything else he had to request it off, and still was no guarantee that he would get it. He worked there a little over a year.

Next in line after that was Panera. Again, better pay...much better pay and now we were looking a decent hours. Things started to smooth out! We were able to see each other, get ahead on bills...the whole nine. Then we moved back to Springfield...

He went back to Cheddar's (also better pay) because there were no positions at Panera at the time. So back to working horrific hours. I would like to say that I hated it with a passion. I was lonely...all the time. Karnell finally said, enough is enough. And decided to try for Panera again...it worked!

Karnell has been at Panera for a month now...and loving every moment of it! Not to mention...better pay! Karnell has had his weekends off for 4 weeks in a row! That hasn't happened in the history of us knowing each other! He only works late 2 nights a week, and we've had a blast. I've had more fun with Karnell these past four week than I've ever had...take that back, the most fun I've had with him was on our honeymoon--that was a whole week of vacation, and no job to go to at all (for the both of us)!

I can officially say, I'm lovin' it! Things are looking up...once again.

Disturbed...

Ok, so I have totally found a new passion. It is one that I didn't know existed. My new passion is pregnant teens. So for about a month I have been working for Pregnancy Care Center here in Springfield. I have been exposed to more than the average Joe has seen. To be honest, I'm seriously disturbed. Without disclosing any personal information (to protect the girls I know) I will give you a brief over view of what I've personally seen. There have been girls that are 11 years old and pregnant come to the center!!! Some of these girls come from very bad situations, while others said that they were bored... If you are that bored and you feel that sex is your ONLY alternative... all I can say is wow!

Not only that, but this week has been the first full week that I've been able to teach in the schools. I am teaching 6th graders...6th graders that can't read or write! Are you kidding me?!! So, you can only imagine how difficult it is to teach abstinence when they can't read or write. I am spelling words left and right for these little kiddos.

So most of you know that the alternative to Pregnancy Care Center is Planned Parenthood. For those that are a little naive, Planned Parenthood supports abortions. In a Planned Parenthood agency in Kansas City, it isn't UNCOMMON for a girl to go into the clinic more than 6 times for an abortion!!!!!! Not only that, but the boyfriend is typically paying for all of them!

Is anyone out there seriously disturbed by these statistics?! I would admit, that I have lived a sheltered life; and I new that abortions and young mom's was an issue, but give me a break. Having multiple abortions and being 11 years old, pregnant and can't read or write...that's an issue.

This will be my soapbox for awhile, so get ready for a pretty intense ride. This makes me beyond angry. Stay tuned...

Things are looking up!

This has been such a great week for me...things are truly starting to look up. For those that might not have known, I no longer work for Second Baptist; I work for Pregnancy Care Center. I will be teaching abstinence to 6th graders. Well, it's not only abstinence, it's about making the right decision when certain choices come your way. It's really about decision making...even though in one chapter it is solely devoted to sex. This is a 6 day cirriculum, and I am going into all the 6th grade classrooms in Springfield; which is about 22-24 classes! So it's very obvious that I will become very busy, very soon. I go to my first classroom on this coming Monday, it's at Study Elementary. I'm very excited...yet very nervous! I can't wait.

Another peice of good news is that Karnell finally got the job at Panera!!!!! We are so excited. We've been waiting to hear something back from them for about a month now... Just when we decided to go ahead and forget them, they call the next day to offer him the job! This is great news! I'm so proud of him. For those of you that know me and Karnell very well, you know that we haven't been able to see each other and spend good quality time together our whole relationship. So you can imagine what this will do for our marriage! Karnell has worked crazy hours from us dating up to now. I'm use to him being away, and me doing my own thing. I know that this will be a transition; I just pray that all goes smoothly. I'm optimistic!

I just thought all reading my blog should know what's the latest scoop in the Robinson's world! Hey, I've got to keep you in the loop! See ya!

What a great rest of the week!

For the first time in a long time, I was pretty busy this weekend! It was great! As many of you know, my sister came to visit me. I was so glad to see her. I absolutely love hanging out with her. She is not only my sister, but also a very good friend! I love you Ashley. We talked and laughed, something I haven't done in a really long time. It was quite refreshing. That was Wednesday.

On Thursday, Karnell and I had a date night. It was great, we went out for dinner, and then he took me shopping! I haven't been shopping in a very long time. I usually buy things for the house, like food and household supplies. I never buy anything for myself. We typically don't have the money, so it was such an unexpected treat. Guess what I bought, scented oil from Bath and Body Works...that's all, nothing else. How pitiful. Being a girl, you would think that shopping was something that came naturally, but I haven't done it in so long, that now I feel guilty to purchase anything for myself. I really need to get over that!

Friday night Karnell and his band named "Stretch" played at Mille's Cafe. They sounded really great. I was really impressed. I'm so proud of him. He is such a talented musician, and writer. Sometime's I'm amazed at how talented he really is. He's awesome!

Saturday I ran errands all day, and on Sunday Karnell and I went to a Cardinals game. They lost but, it was so much fun! Once the game was over, we started walking back to our car. Karnell reached to grab and hold my hand, just at that moment I shouted "oooohhhhhh, MONEY"!!! I ran to the middle of the street to grab a $1 bill, and to my surprise, there was a $5 bill tucked in there!. So I gained $6 bucks...not a bad ending to a great weekend!

I will post pictures of the festivities a little later! Bye

It's been a minute...

Wow, I really try to keep writing on my blog...it's therapy. It helps me get my thoughts on paper. So since the last time I wrote, I got a new job. Yes, I don't work at Second Baptist anymore. I now work for Pregnancy Care Center. I am teaching abstinence to sixth graders. I haven't taught it officially just yet, I'm learning the curriculum and observing others. It's kind of a slow process, I wish it was more fast paced, but I think that will come over time. I am very excited and anxious. I love that I'm impacting the community, doing something in my degreed field, and getting paid well! Who can argue with that?!

Other than that, things are the same ol' same. I've been really trying to fix up my home. I've been one reorganizing maniac. I have a lot of time on my hands, so I have resorted to cleaning. If any of you know me at all, I hate to clean, but what else is there to do. I really don't have a lot of friends, and absolutely NO family, so what's a girl to do?

One thing I am excited about is that my sister is coming to visit me today!!!! I can't wait. I'm so excited. I haven't seen her since Christmas. She hasn't been to Springfield since I moved back. I'm not for sure what all we will do; I'm just super siked that she is coming.

Well, that's all for now. I'm sorry that the posts have been rather boring, but sometimes that's just the way it goes. Oh yeah, one other thing, I am completely obsessed with a particular TV show...Run's House. I know, it's a few seasons in, but I love watching it every chance I get. Pitiful, I know...but boy is it good!

Anticipation

I hate waiting... I would say that I'm pretty impatient when it comes to finding out news. It doesn't matter whether the news is good, bad, or just FYI, I want to know. What's worse is if the news you are "trying to be patient" with is a make or break situation, that can make minutes seem like hours and hours like days!

They say that waiting builds character. Now, that I truly believe; I just don't like doing it. Karnell and I have been waiting for some particular news for the past few days...and I can't deny, I'm on pins and needles! I want to know so bad that it's driving me nuts. To add salt to the wound, I am bored out of my mind. That doesn't help matters. If I was highly productive and overwhelmingly busy, time would fly...too bad that's not my situation.

So, today...I WAIT... UUUUGGGGGG!!!!! Maybe today will be the day...

Change

So I had this huge epiphany...there are some things in my life that I HAVE to change in order to be a better person. It's really not an option anymore... If you keep doing the same thing, you're going to keep getting the same result. So, I decree before a public audience that I am going to change! Life is too short not to live it to the max. Change starts in the mind...you have to want to change. It also helps if you have a support system. I know it will be hard... remember, nothing has ever came to me easy. But I am determined... I've made my mind up. So what am I going to change? My self image, and everything that reflects it. Starting with organization, taking care of myself, de-stressing, relaxing, being positive... I know, I'm crazy! Most people would say to start small and build up. I am! My small step is to realize to make correct choices. That's where it all starts from. I always choose the road that's not the best. Well, now I'm going to make better choices. By making better choices, those area's of my life will naturally change. I'm doing this for myself...it's long overdue.

So watch out, LaTisha is on a move!

What the Heck...

So, yes, I would admit that I'm not super old, but I'm old enough to know a little bit. And I would say that the little that I know, kinda goes a long way. You are probably asking, what the heck is she talking about? I'm talking about life. Life in general. American society has taught us that there are certain "steps" to life...and if you follow these steps then you will have obtained "success". Well, I'm here to tell you that I followed the "steps" but don't feel "successful".

So what does "success" mean? Is it a state of mind, or is there more? To tell a little bit about myself... Nothing has ever came to me easy. I've had to work extremely hard, for what others would've accomplished effortlessly. I've come to the realization that that's how it will always be. If I fight against it, it only makes it harder. So I'm completely fine with working hard, it makes me appreciate it.

Now, having said that, I do believe in people getting a "break". You know, that once in a lifetime opportunity. For example, celebrities, most of them got a "break". It doesn't mean that they don't work extremely hard at what they do, it just means that they got an opportunity that no one else got. So my question is, how do I position myself so that opportunities can come my way?

I 100% believe in being in the right place at the right time. I guess when it all boils down to it, I'm tired of "just making it". I'm working really, really hard "just to make it". When will there be a time where I am doing fine? And for that matter, when will I obtain a status that I'm comfortable with? I understand that comfort is in the eye of the beholder, but if making sure I can enjoy life is asking too much, then someone please explain to me that struggling, is the inevitable...

Here's a great analogy. A car. Let's say you have this old, beat up car. Whenever you turn the ignition it revs really high all the time, even when it's in neutral. Common sense would say that the car is working to hard...you would take it into the shop to get it fixed. A car is a well oiled machine. All the parts work in concert, so that you can get to your destination effortlessly. If this particular car issue keeps happening, eventually you will give up, and "invest" in a better car. Why? Because you don't want to struggle with the headaches that car's give. You want to just get in your car, start the engine, put it in drive, and get from A to B without troubles.

That's all I'm asking for... getting from A to B without troubles. Now, I do understand that natural challenges are going to come. I have no problem with that...comes with the territory. But there is a difference between a challenge, and a threat. Right now, I'm being threatened. I guess in the end this is a desperate cry for...HELP!

Brrrr....

Oh, yuck...the icy roads!
Beautiful icy trees!
Wow, what a view!
Anyone up for scraping?

If you live here in Springfield, I am for sure that you are like me, ready for the ice to go away! I, by nature, love the cold weather. I would rather be cold than hot any day of the week. But...there is this little disclaimer...I want the cold on my terms. I don't like getting into a cold bed; I don't like a freezing house, and I hate turning on the water and it is sinfully cold! I know, so what exactly do I like about the cold...just the feeling. With the cold you can put on extra clothes to get warm; but if you're hot, you can be butt naked and still be hot. Like I said, I want to regulate the temperature. I am ready for long days of sunlight, and warmth. Come on Spring. I don't even want Summer, just get here Spring. Speaking of long sunny days, can you believe that Daylight Savings is March 9! They keep moving it... Some states don't even participate in Daylight Savings! Gotta love it. Next thing you know it will start in January! Well, for now, stay warm! Believe it or not, Spring is on the way!

Marital Bliss...

So for those of you that are married, I'm sure you can relate. Those that aren't married, here's a lesson! Karnell and I have been married for over 2 years now. Even though we've had our up's and down's, the overall package of marriage has been great. When I say overall package, what does that mean? Well, I'll tell you what I think it means...at least in our marriage.

I think it means going through rough times, so that you can appreciate the good times. Rough times meaning: when money is tight, priorities shift, time isn't managed properly, roles are reversed, tension is in the air...I think you get my point. It's in times like these and many others when you decide "we're in this for the long haul". I know what you are probably thinking, Karnell and I had a fight. Nope, we are doing great! So, what brought on this discussion?

A lot of my friends are married, but one thing that I find VERY consistant between all of their marriages is that they don't talk about them. It's a very taboo subject. They give a facade that in their marriage, "all is well". The best way to learn about something is to ask questions, and learn from others experiences. Well, if no one's talking, how can you learn?

They say that the top 3 reasons couples divorce are: sex, money and communication. I beg to differ. The main reason for divorce is that no one TALKS about these 3 items. If people opened up, they would begin to see that there are lots of couples that have the same problems, but along with that, there is a support network of others going through the same thing! Divorce occurs because they feel isolated, with no where to turn.

No, none of my friends are getting a divorce...as far as I know. But quite a few of them are putting on a show "that all's well". That's scary, because when arguements occurs, they are in a very dangerous place...because the truth comes out.

So, my challenge to the married couples: find that network of married people you trust and get open and candid about your marriage. Not talking just about the "bad", but the "good" as well. Do it for your marriage. For the singles: remember, talking about your marriage is a good thing, it just might be your words that save your friends marriage...so talk!

Why???

Why have friends that are going to consistantly let you down? If being in this world is made up of people and relationships, why invest in something that will let you down? Common sense would say, don't make bad investments. If it was money we were talking about, I would be an idiot for investing money, knowing I would loose it. I would be even stupider to invest a lot of money knowing I would loose it all. So, why would I do that? Because I'm an idiot and nieve. I always see the glass half full. I never want to see the negative; I'm an optimist.

Some people in life, aren't worth your time. How many times am I going to get hurt before I say "screw them"? How many tears am I going to cry? I'm truly beginning to HATE people. They are filled with nothing but disappointments and pain.

Maybe I should be like them--not care. Maybe I shouldn't check on them to make sure they're OK. Maybe I shouldn't call, or visit them. While I'm at it, maybe I should pray they have a horrible life...no, I can't, I have a heart.

Sometimes when you have a big heart, there's more to hurt. Having a big heart, in my eyes, has no advantages. People use you, and abuse you. They have you in their life for the only purpose of "what can they get out of it". Since being in Springfield, nothing but disappointments and heartache has come my way. I officially have too many emotions to handle.

So today, I say, "screw everyone". Tomorrow, I'll apologize and feel sorry that those words ever came out of my mouth. I'll try to make it better, to in turn only make it worse. I'll cry, and be lonely, and in a couple of days I'll move on. The story of my life.

Jett and Snow!

Karnell and Jett

Jeff and Charity
Charity, Jeff and Karnell (Is Karnell warm enough?)
Jeff, Me, and Karnell (I'm the only one with snow all over me!)

The first couple of pictures our of Jett. The next pictures are of Karnell, me, Jeff and Charity. We had our first "real" snow here in Springfield, so we decided to go play in it. Jeff and Charity bought a sled and off we went. We were so excited to go sledding. Once we got to our destination, we started blowing up the sled. Well it didn't take long before we decided that would take forever. So we said forget it, and just went playin in the snow. We made snow angels, had snowball fights, and Karnell rolled down the hill in the snow! (Now that was a sight to see!) After about 25-30 minutes, the fun was over. It was very random, and a lot of fun!

One sad day...

Well, most of you know, but some may not... Jett was hit by a car yesterday, and didn't make it. I would honestly say that he was a special dog to me. In my whole life I've never had a dog. Matter of fact, I've never owned any pets growing up. It wasn't until I was in college that I had my first pet; Theodore- a guinea pig. I was living with Jodi and Lindsay at the time...he got sick and pasted away. I felt sad, but didn't even cry. Then I got a parakeet- Rainbow...she also got sick...real, real sick and passed away as well. Theodore and Rainbow both lived the "The Cabin" that was the name of my house in college. I am convinced that that house wasn't conducive for pet living, and that's why my pets got sick.

While having Rainbow, Karnell got me George- another parakeet. So the transition from Rainbow dying and having George was wonderful. I cried, but only for a little bit. The main reason I cried was because I saw Rainbow suffering like you wouldn't believe...my heart just ached for her.

For a long time we only had George (about a year) and then we got Macchiato- another parakeet! Karnell and I felt that George was lonely and needed a friend. Which might I add, they absolutely love each other!

Once we moved to Springfield, we got Jett. I blogged about him in earlier posts. Even though he ate everything in sight, he was still my friend. Karnell is always gone, and I felt such peace knowing that Jett was with me. I told Jett things that I wouldn't tell anyone else. Last night was so hard for me because I came home and he wasn't there. I am so grateful that Karnell was off yesterday so that I wouldn't be home by myself.

I would just like to say that I will miss you Jett, you were a great dog, and a wonderful friend. I am so sorry that your life had to end so soon. You brought many smiles to my face, and made me feel better. You will be greatly missed.

Random Thoughts!

Today is nothing but random thoughts...hope you don't mind! So, most of you know that I got a digital camera for Christmas, and a printer to go along with it, but I don't take any pictures. I carry the camera in my purse so that I can catch "life's" moments, but I just don't. When I had a 35mm camera, I use to take pictures all the time. I just hated getting them developed. Before too long, I just stopped taking pictures. So now I have to get back into the habit of taking them again. It's easy now, I don't even have to wait for pictures!

Well, I think that we finally found a home for Jett. It has been quite the process, but I really want to make sure that he has a good, forever home. I don't want him to go to just anybody that calls. I have to remember that I get to pick which home is the best home for him!

I was talking to my friend Jodi the other day, and found out some interesting news...she's pregnant! I just couldn't believe it. After talking to her on the phone, I really started to think about life. It is amazing where life will take you. I can remember when Jodi and I lived on the same floor (she was my RA) at SMS. Then we moved into a house together, where we both met our spouses, we even graduated at the same time! We both lived in KC for awhile, and now she's in Colorado and I'm back in Springfield! Amazing!! She is one of my dear friends, and I am so glad that the Lord allowed such a great friend (she's just like a sister to me) into my life! Love ya, Jodi!

Ok, that's enough of the random thoughts! I hope that everyone has a wonderful New Year! My prayer is that you take all of life's moments and make the best of them! Love you all!