Why have friends that are going to consistantly let you down? If being in this world is made up of people and relationships, why invest in something that will let you down? Common sense would say, don't make bad investments. If it was money we were talking about, I would be an idiot for investing money, knowing I would loose it. I would be even stupider to invest a lot of money knowing I would loose it all. So, why would I do that? Because I'm an idiot and nieve. I always see the glass half full. I never want to see the negative; I'm an optimist.
Some people in life, aren't worth your time. How many times am I going to get hurt before I say "screw them"? How many tears am I going to cry? I'm truly beginning to HATE people. They are filled with nothing but disappointments and pain.
Maybe I should be like them--not care. Maybe I shouldn't check on them to make sure they're OK. Maybe I shouldn't call, or visit them. While I'm at it, maybe I should pray they have a horrible life...no, I can't, I have a heart.
Sometimes when you have a big heart, there's more to hurt. Having a big heart, in my eyes, has no advantages. People use you, and abuse you. They have you in their life for the only purpose of "what can they get out of it". Since being in Springfield, nothing but disappointments and heartache has come my way. I officially have too many emotions to handle.
So today, I say, "screw everyone". Tomorrow, I'll apologize and feel sorry that those words ever came out of my mouth. I'll try to make it better, to in turn only make it worse. I'll cry, and be lonely, and in a couple of days I'll move on. The story of my life.
Some people in life, aren't worth your time. How many times am I going to get hurt before I say "screw them"? How many tears am I going to cry? I'm truly beginning to HATE people. They are filled with nothing but disappointments and pain.
Maybe I should be like them--not care. Maybe I shouldn't check on them to make sure they're OK. Maybe I shouldn't call, or visit them. While I'm at it, maybe I should pray they have a horrible life...no, I can't, I have a heart.
Sometimes when you have a big heart, there's more to hurt. Having a big heart, in my eyes, has no advantages. People use you, and abuse you. They have you in their life for the only purpose of "what can they get out of it". Since being in Springfield, nothing but disappointments and heartache has come my way. I officially have too many emotions to handle.
So today, I say, "screw everyone". Tomorrow, I'll apologize and feel sorry that those words ever came out of my mouth. I'll try to make it better, to in turn only make it worse. I'll cry, and be lonely, and in a couple of days I'll move on. The story of my life.
3 comments:
Latisha... you say things that everyone else only thinks.
What you've said, I believe, could really be helpful to the people coming to our gathering on Sunday morning... do you mind if I read it out loud to them?
Having asked that, let me say that I want to be there for you. I know it's harder, not being at Second anymore, but I miss talking to you and having you around. Give me a call or send me an e-mail. I know that I am not going to fix your emotions... they don't need to be fixed and I couldn't fix them anyway. But I do consider you my friend. Don't be a stranger.
Thanks for your permission. I did read it on Sunday morning, and several people commented how moved they were by this post. Several more asked if they could have a link to your blog.
Keep writing.
I heard a phrase in a movie the other night: "Trust everyone, just don't trust the Devil in them."
Unfortunately it is true that people with a pure heart only see the good in people but cannot see the bad in people until they are forced to see it (because of various and sundry circumstances)
By then it is usually too late and damage has already been done.
It is true that the more pure your heart is, the more people will take advantage of you.
There is an upside, however, to having a pure heart and soul. God can use you more effectively in your young adult life and maybe into middle age.
The problem is, as time goes on and we become older, we find out that everyone eventually hurts us. We are in danger of becoming hardened and afraid of letting anyone in.
Becoming wise, discerning, and savvy, as the world requires us to become, takes that purity away and we are never the same.
I have a theory about this.. I believe it is why people get sick and die. Yes there are physical reasons that come with age, like the hell of menopause (both male and female) and dealing with that; or, for example, genetic pre-disposition to disease; BUT I think the true reason people get old and sick and die is from disappointment.
Post a Comment