It's been a minute...

Wow, I really try to keep writing on my blog...it's therapy. It helps me get my thoughts on paper. So since the last time I wrote, I got a new job. Yes, I don't work at Second Baptist anymore. I now work for Pregnancy Care Center. I am teaching abstinence to sixth graders. I haven't taught it officially just yet, I'm learning the curriculum and observing others. It's kind of a slow process, I wish it was more fast paced, but I think that will come over time. I am very excited and anxious. I love that I'm impacting the community, doing something in my degreed field, and getting paid well! Who can argue with that?!

Other than that, things are the same ol' same. I've been really trying to fix up my home. I've been one reorganizing maniac. I have a lot of time on my hands, so I have resorted to cleaning. If any of you know me at all, I hate to clean, but what else is there to do. I really don't have a lot of friends, and absolutely NO family, so what's a girl to do?

One thing I am excited about is that my sister is coming to visit me today!!!! I can't wait. I'm so excited. I haven't seen her since Christmas. She hasn't been to Springfield since I moved back. I'm not for sure what all we will do; I'm just super siked that she is coming.

Well, that's all for now. I'm sorry that the posts have been rather boring, but sometimes that's just the way it goes. Oh yeah, one other thing, I am completely obsessed with a particular TV show...Run's House. I know, it's a few seasons in, but I love watching it every chance I get. Pitiful, I know...but boy is it good!

Anticipation

I hate waiting... I would say that I'm pretty impatient when it comes to finding out news. It doesn't matter whether the news is good, bad, or just FYI, I want to know. What's worse is if the news you are "trying to be patient" with is a make or break situation, that can make minutes seem like hours and hours like days!

They say that waiting builds character. Now, that I truly believe; I just don't like doing it. Karnell and I have been waiting for some particular news for the past few days...and I can't deny, I'm on pins and needles! I want to know so bad that it's driving me nuts. To add salt to the wound, I am bored out of my mind. That doesn't help matters. If I was highly productive and overwhelmingly busy, time would fly...too bad that's not my situation.

So, today...I WAIT... UUUUGGGGGG!!!!! Maybe today will be the day...

Change

So I had this huge epiphany...there are some things in my life that I HAVE to change in order to be a better person. It's really not an option anymore... If you keep doing the same thing, you're going to keep getting the same result. So, I decree before a public audience that I am going to change! Life is too short not to live it to the max. Change starts in the mind...you have to want to change. It also helps if you have a support system. I know it will be hard... remember, nothing has ever came to me easy. But I am determined... I've made my mind up. So what am I going to change? My self image, and everything that reflects it. Starting with organization, taking care of myself, de-stressing, relaxing, being positive... I know, I'm crazy! Most people would say to start small and build up. I am! My small step is to realize to make correct choices. That's where it all starts from. I always choose the road that's not the best. Well, now I'm going to make better choices. By making better choices, those area's of my life will naturally change. I'm doing this for myself...it's long overdue.

So watch out, LaTisha is on a move!

What the Heck...

So, yes, I would admit that I'm not super old, but I'm old enough to know a little bit. And I would say that the little that I know, kinda goes a long way. You are probably asking, what the heck is she talking about? I'm talking about life. Life in general. American society has taught us that there are certain "steps" to life...and if you follow these steps then you will have obtained "success". Well, I'm here to tell you that I followed the "steps" but don't feel "successful".

So what does "success" mean? Is it a state of mind, or is there more? To tell a little bit about myself... Nothing has ever came to me easy. I've had to work extremely hard, for what others would've accomplished effortlessly. I've come to the realization that that's how it will always be. If I fight against it, it only makes it harder. So I'm completely fine with working hard, it makes me appreciate it.

Now, having said that, I do believe in people getting a "break". You know, that once in a lifetime opportunity. For example, celebrities, most of them got a "break". It doesn't mean that they don't work extremely hard at what they do, it just means that they got an opportunity that no one else got. So my question is, how do I position myself so that opportunities can come my way?

I 100% believe in being in the right place at the right time. I guess when it all boils down to it, I'm tired of "just making it". I'm working really, really hard "just to make it". When will there be a time where I am doing fine? And for that matter, when will I obtain a status that I'm comfortable with? I understand that comfort is in the eye of the beholder, but if making sure I can enjoy life is asking too much, then someone please explain to me that struggling, is the inevitable...

Here's a great analogy. A car. Let's say you have this old, beat up car. Whenever you turn the ignition it revs really high all the time, even when it's in neutral. Common sense would say that the car is working to hard...you would take it into the shop to get it fixed. A car is a well oiled machine. All the parts work in concert, so that you can get to your destination effortlessly. If this particular car issue keeps happening, eventually you will give up, and "invest" in a better car. Why? Because you don't want to struggle with the headaches that car's give. You want to just get in your car, start the engine, put it in drive, and get from A to B without troubles.

That's all I'm asking for... getting from A to B without troubles. Now, I do understand that natural challenges are going to come. I have no problem with that...comes with the territory. But there is a difference between a challenge, and a threat. Right now, I'm being threatened. I guess in the end this is a desperate cry for...HELP!

Brrrr....

Oh, yuck...the icy roads!
Beautiful icy trees!
Wow, what a view!
Anyone up for scraping?

If you live here in Springfield, I am for sure that you are like me, ready for the ice to go away! I, by nature, love the cold weather. I would rather be cold than hot any day of the week. But...there is this little disclaimer...I want the cold on my terms. I don't like getting into a cold bed; I don't like a freezing house, and I hate turning on the water and it is sinfully cold! I know, so what exactly do I like about the cold...just the feeling. With the cold you can put on extra clothes to get warm; but if you're hot, you can be butt naked and still be hot. Like I said, I want to regulate the temperature. I am ready for long days of sunlight, and warmth. Come on Spring. I don't even want Summer, just get here Spring. Speaking of long sunny days, can you believe that Daylight Savings is March 9! They keep moving it... Some states don't even participate in Daylight Savings! Gotta love it. Next thing you know it will start in January! Well, for now, stay warm! Believe it or not, Spring is on the way!

Marital Bliss...

So for those of you that are married, I'm sure you can relate. Those that aren't married, here's a lesson! Karnell and I have been married for over 2 years now. Even though we've had our up's and down's, the overall package of marriage has been great. When I say overall package, what does that mean? Well, I'll tell you what I think it means...at least in our marriage.

I think it means going through rough times, so that you can appreciate the good times. Rough times meaning: when money is tight, priorities shift, time isn't managed properly, roles are reversed, tension is in the air...I think you get my point. It's in times like these and many others when you decide "we're in this for the long haul". I know what you are probably thinking, Karnell and I had a fight. Nope, we are doing great! So, what brought on this discussion?

A lot of my friends are married, but one thing that I find VERY consistant between all of their marriages is that they don't talk about them. It's a very taboo subject. They give a facade that in their marriage, "all is well". The best way to learn about something is to ask questions, and learn from others experiences. Well, if no one's talking, how can you learn?

They say that the top 3 reasons couples divorce are: sex, money and communication. I beg to differ. The main reason for divorce is that no one TALKS about these 3 items. If people opened up, they would begin to see that there are lots of couples that have the same problems, but along with that, there is a support network of others going through the same thing! Divorce occurs because they feel isolated, with no where to turn.

No, none of my friends are getting a divorce...as far as I know. But quite a few of them are putting on a show "that all's well". That's scary, because when arguements occurs, they are in a very dangerous place...because the truth comes out.

So, my challenge to the married couples: find that network of married people you trust and get open and candid about your marriage. Not talking just about the "bad", but the "good" as well. Do it for your marriage. For the singles: remember, talking about your marriage is a good thing, it just might be your words that save your friends marriage...so talk!

Why???

Why have friends that are going to consistantly let you down? If being in this world is made up of people and relationships, why invest in something that will let you down? Common sense would say, don't make bad investments. If it was money we were talking about, I would be an idiot for investing money, knowing I would loose it. I would be even stupider to invest a lot of money knowing I would loose it all. So, why would I do that? Because I'm an idiot and nieve. I always see the glass half full. I never want to see the negative; I'm an optimist.

Some people in life, aren't worth your time. How many times am I going to get hurt before I say "screw them"? How many tears am I going to cry? I'm truly beginning to HATE people. They are filled with nothing but disappointments and pain.

Maybe I should be like them--not care. Maybe I shouldn't check on them to make sure they're OK. Maybe I shouldn't call, or visit them. While I'm at it, maybe I should pray they have a horrible life...no, I can't, I have a heart.

Sometimes when you have a big heart, there's more to hurt. Having a big heart, in my eyes, has no advantages. People use you, and abuse you. They have you in their life for the only purpose of "what can they get out of it". Since being in Springfield, nothing but disappointments and heartache has come my way. I officially have too many emotions to handle.

So today, I say, "screw everyone". Tomorrow, I'll apologize and feel sorry that those words ever came out of my mouth. I'll try to make it better, to in turn only make it worse. I'll cry, and be lonely, and in a couple of days I'll move on. The story of my life.