Success

How does a person measure success? Is it just how a person carries himself, or is it a measure of accomplishments? I obviously know that the accomplishments do not have to be great, just accomplished. It is with this question that I write my blog. I try to surround myself with successful people everyday. But there is one thing that I notice, they people that I'm around are doing things and making way to be successful, as for I am sitting on my talent doing nothing. I can't help but be reminded of the Bible verse where God gave talents to three people. Two of them went and make themselves successful, while the third went and buried his. He did nothing. That is totally me! I feel as though I have so much to offer myself, but fears of being inadequate, or failing, or whatever begin to invade my head. It stops me from being me. Whenever I have this feeling, it grips me so tight that, what was once a very achievable goal, not is next to nearly impossible. How do I overcome that? It's not so hard for me to "bite the bullet" and just do it. My mind has to be convinced that there is minimal risk involved. If anyone knows me at all, you will know that I am a huge risk taker. I love living on the edge, it gives me a rush. Two totally conflicting views. My mom always taught me that there are no failures, except for those that never tried. There is always knowledge to gain when effort is portrayed. My desire to be successful, is being smothered by my inadequacy. It is as though I am faced with a huge brick wall, and have no tools to either tear it down, or climb it. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in my marriage, stuck with my life, stuck with my decisions, just stuck. Don't be misinformed. It's not that my marriage, life and the decisions that I make are bad, that is not the case, it's just that they are inadequate. I know that I can do something to change that, I just don't know what that is. Yes, I want to be successful if that means that my life has a meaning and purpose. Right now I feel as though I am roaming aimlessly, without a cause. I have felt this way for a very long time. Just a little food for thought.